You never looked so goodas you did last night, underneath the city lights. ♥ ♥ ♥ |
Baby, i'll find a way to shine just for you. ♥ ♥ ♥ |
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Saturday, March 29, 2008out.Nonsense. Stupid. Can't I bloody have any stupid privacy of mine? Why are people coming to spoil my mood every single day? It's effin 11;15am. Giving me that stupid attitude at this hour? When you just fucking woke up? It was bad enough yesterday night. Okay things are getting out of hand. Why am I appearing like I'm so absolutely fine, when I'm seriously breaking down? Because I don't wanna worry you. & now every single thing I do, you wanna have a say in it. Fucking let me make my own decisions will you? I'm a big girl already. I need space of my own, let me breathe please. I really need someone, & I have someone. I know he won't be there forever, or maybe gone for very soon. Yes I know & I'm aware of the consequences. I don't care. I just wanna be.. depending on him. I'm tearing, gosh, just what's wrong? I need a break. learing everything here. Can I? Wednesday, March 26, 2008Bad, stressed. Ahh! I'm not coping, I'm not coping! Okay, I'm startin to go to school on time... That's a great improvement isn't it? (: Stressed... because I'm falling in people that I shouldn't be. Han! he's attached. I'm stressed because I'm seriously coping bad. Why, I'm so jealous over everything.. Why, Am I so silly? Why, everything seems like clashing down? Ah! stupid. =( Friday, March 21, 2008Truth;Aye, I'm so sorry that I pon-ed blogging for these few days. Guess what, I've got a new plan in class. Classmates! ALERT! Please keep me awake during every single lesson& avoid from disturbing me during language lessons. =x I promise not to flunk anything next sem. PROMISED Now that I'd realised some truth of most people. Very good example, Jacky CHEEHONGKIA! Why did I say that? Because he's seriously a fucked up person. When he likes you, he'll be so super sweet, nice to you. & when he realised you're attached, he'll change, TOTALLY. Guess what, he actually scolded me because of some stupid minor problems. Come on, it's just fucking money. Can't you wait? & I'd realised.. somethings are just really not meant to be. When you found out that he's the one who kept walking you through, & part of your life. He'll leave you, just like what he did to me. Yes agree, I do love him more. But can't you see I need you? & all you could say is, " Han, thanks for being an encouraging friend throughout, I'd decided to go m'sia to find my ex gf when I'm done w my ns." That's all you could say. Again, han don't deserved to be loved. Say I'm emo, funny, stupid or whatever. Because I agree myself. I'm seriously silly. Family.. is crap. really crap. Some truths and thoughts arent meant to be disclosed. But some facts, you gotta say& if you hide it to yourself, thinking that you could bear everything, eventually you'll end up hurting each other. Just to prevent some stupid quarrels. & somethings are just too late to mend back & apologising isn't the best word. You gotta admit your mistake. Look at yourself before humiliating. Just one day, I'm gonna totally give up on you, just like her.. Soon, because my heart's beginning to die. I used to hold you guys so dearly, really that close & trying to hold you guys back together. No, I can't. I'd thought to myself, was it very selfish of me to do it? Made you both suffer just because of my selfish-ness. I'm sorry. I'm tired, of caring, persuading. Just, get it all over and done with. I'm sick of it. Nothing much happened. I'll be strong. Supporting her, & not letting her down. I promise. Monday, March 17, 2008Sky Of LoveI've got this sudden urge to post an review on Sky Of Love. Gosh, Seriously rate it 5/5. Because I simply love romantic movies (: Things are getting back on track, playing a fool again. Ayeeee, where's him? I'm still finding (: Sky of love is about how can one do for their beloved ones. Yes, anything & everything, even if they themselves suffer. Based on a cell-phone novel that moved 11 million people to tears, "Sky of Love" is a story about a regular girl's three stormy years in high school. While her friends are absorbed about their boyfriends, Mika is clueless about falling in love. She begins receiving phone calls from a boy she doesn't know and is gradually drawn to him. She finally meets him but their happy days soon pass as trouble is brewing on the horizon. http://koizora-movie.jp/index.html Aye, now that I'd watched the trailers again, tears starts to grow. =/ Someone, accompany me! xD Sunday, March 16, 2008BreakGosh, I'm so sorry for neglecting you my dearest blog =x Ayeeeeeee. Let's talk bout Fri-d-aee ;D It was fun! Rushed to bunk and meet them, aye. Really missed them. Went t MOS for my Breakfast + Lunch + dinner. Pathetic eh? Went to rush for zak & everything. Finally it's done w 30mins of delay. New record! 35mins 12 man zak, proud of myself *wide big smile! Went to chat & did our usual stuffs. hah. After when we're done dragging & crapping it was about... 12am Went to Cine for our supper. & I'm so full that I ordered Miranira & guess what I'd completed the shrimps & clams & 3 bites of spagetthi. I left it down there. More than half a bowl. WASTE OF FOOD! I'm sorry luh. It wasn't that delicious either =x We crapped again. AYE! I FORGOT TO TAKE PICTURES! I should have taken picture of my 'boyfriend' in new urban male. & he works there 24/7. =x Wanna know who he is? Go shopping w me! (: Okay, we fooled around and went up. & OMFG. We saw Ben! Aye, that fella is still working there =x We were teasing him while he's serving the customer. so cute~! When we're done with the tix, we'd decided on a 2.40 am movie.. aye, damn late. It was 1.40am then (: By the way, it's sky of love. Very nice. Damn touching. I went in the cinema w contact lenses, eye liner, falses. & I came out w non of them =/ It was around 2 hours 15mins. Effin' long. But it's worth th money & time. Go catch it for people who loveeeeeee Romantic movie *smiles After that we decided to just slack around & wait till 6. Knew this guy he's quite sweet. quite nice.. & he wanted to send me home.. cause he didn't wanted me to wait till 6... How sweet? (: Is han falling again? hmmmm ... =/ Okay, give me time. slowly =x Anyway.. decided to cab home with hanxiang. we waited for 30mins. Damn many people are waiting too. We were so shag when we were in cab. Twin, I enjoy cabbing home with you, thanks for everything. Please be careful when you're overseas kay, misses* Okay, I kept thinking bout th movie th past days. It's DAMN NICE! Go and watch guys ;D Loves. Ty korkor for th accompanyx3MyOne&Only Friday, March 14, 2008We're done with.Aye, watched Step up 2, it was great with all th dance moove & special bboy technique. Guys, I'm fine don't worry (: Thankss to all x3 Had been restin' at home for th past days. Now, a refreshed mind, a new me. Th friends that I'd met are great. I love you guys (: I'm really effin' hungry now. Shan't blog much. Replies to tags; Ting; Yea, I agree w you. Don't worry. (: I'd made up my mind. Nothing's gonna change. I promise. Mardy; Thanks girl, aye you sweet lil girl. See you in school soon. & I'd heard from Irwin th surprise bday pressie hah (: Hazel; Loveaye! I'm fine.. It's you whose not =/ Well, cheer up. I'd made up my mind so don't worry k? Wednesday, March 12, 2008Walked out.I'd finally freed myself from all the false hope. Yes, we really really ended. Now, it won't really bother me lookin' you callin' her darling. It's nothin'. I'm sick of all th empty promises. I'm sick of cryin' & shoutin'. I'd realised, it'll just bring me no where. Maybe everything you said was true. We didn't know each other well, th promises made wouldn't be kept. Yesterday, would be the last time I got fed up because of you. Yesterday, would be the last time I shed tears because of you. I'd given up, I had enough of false hopes. Now that I realised, I'm really nothing to you. Yea, you were sad when we broke up, but after we'd broken up, I'm nothing but just an acquaintance. Nothing else. I couldn't understand why are you so selfish. I could give up everything, and try my best satisfyin' you. But did you put in any single effort? I'm sick of it. It supposed to be a two party matter. You aren't doing anything, you know all your faults. But you ain't makin' a freaking bloody effort to apologise. You just lead things on, on & on. I'm sick of you. You wanna be acquaintance? Fine, from now on, you will just be an acquaintance of mine. Friends, I'd gave up. You won't see me cry no longer. & surprisingly, no tears from me when I'm posting this post. Yes, it did hurt. But, I'm used to it. Just let the wound bleed, just bleed. Tuesday, March 11, 2008blankHe must be thinking,"That crazy girl again." I'm sorry to be so irritating, I couldn't help it. I'm sorry to those whom I'd let down because of him. I'm sorry to him for doing what I did. I didn't wanted everything to be like that. Find me an average boyfriend. Share with me nice songs. That's all. I just want a very simple relationship. Is it that difficult? Why can people be so sweet. I can make sacrifices also can't I? Why am I crying, why am I so silly. Han, stop it. The world don't only contain you. You weigh the same as other people. Stop thinking that you're so much better. No, you aren't. Everybody's life is gonna go on like how it used to be with or without you. You are nothing. Sorry for being complacent, stucked up, noisy, retarded. I'm just a average girl. Maybe it isn't him who don't deserve me.. maybe it's me who doesn't deserve him. I wanna give up. May I? Things are... Fuck. I don't wanna be bad. I don't wanna stop him. I want him to stop me.. Because I doesn't have any rights to stop him. He can go ahead calling every single girl darling. Boy, because of you I'd forgotten completely bout my pride. Yes, I'm a bitch. I'm desperate. SO what? I care bout my pride no more. I just want him. Don't snatch him away will you? Argh, I'm really not in the right state of mind.. Tears are suddenly flowing. I told myself, I don't need him. No, that's not true.. Maybe this is just retribution from people whom I'd mistreat in the past. Ya, I deserve this punishment. Fucking leave me alone. Monday, March 10, 2008Aye, I hate being sick. woke up early in the morning coughing & coughing like fuck. Okay, wasn't really a good day. Went to take the effin' retarded retest then went for oral after that. Eh, I'm gonna flunk again haha. Oookay, straight after that went Lot 1 for breakfast & met win & mard. loveeeeeee (: Okay, the fucking que was like effin' damn long. was STARVING. but anyway, gotten big breakfast hehee (: year, we're like bitching in mac. Watching the No promises Mv, gosh, I'm sooo sad. &&; everyone's like dating me out this week. Gosh, I felt sooo loved. =x Friday is booked for buddies. Tues, Irwin's birthday ~ Wed, Derick wanted to meet me. Thurs, it's for Keith sweetie. Aye, BOOKED. Okay, go back to my rantings about today. I hate GOP! really really hate him. If it's not for the fucking presents, I won't fucking bear with him. Okay, I'm sorry for being so materilistic but I'm just getting what I think I deserved. Okay, planned out so many stupid nonsense & went home to change and bathe. Had very simple make up and rushed out. Aye, met them and we're like crapping again. haa (: Lazy to go into details. Just that I'd bout 3 perfume and a shoe and........ a skinny. Yup, shopping day. Gosh, I'm so shag. & I miss you sayang x33 I love my naughty si mong =x Friday, March 7, 2008Fruday's night out ;DMy sore throat's condition is getting worse. Sigh, I talk like a man now. Don't bother calling me to chit-chat. ): Morning woke up w that effin' dryness and pain feeling down my throat.. Argh, my mind's swirling.. Really rushed to school, rushed. I was sweating all over, but shivering down my body when I reached school. Damn effin' tired. Started the paper at approx 0800, the first paper was fine.. Then, soon, 1045, for another paper. Read th questions wrongly & scribbled everything down. Argh, was so bored, went Lot 1 w Irwin after that. Had Brunch and chatted awhile. Ha, we were like laughing at every single thing. Went Body Shop later. Spend hell lot of money in body shop nowadays. 70 bucks gone ): Brought Irwin a birthday pressie, glad that he liked it ;D Okay, went Bus Interchange & sat down and talk. This woman there was wearing hot pink, carrying her huge tons of fats walking so proudly. It was self esteem that boost her up. Irwin was like asking me why was she so proud when she's like so fat. I replied," cause at least someone noticed her, like you! LOL " And we burst into laughter again. Soon, took a bus and went home. Prepared myself and went bunk. Everyone saw me & they were like,"Howcome you suddenly so dark?!" I guess it's th new blusher that caused me like that. Was feeling kinda emo, cause felt the guilt of breaking my promise to drugs. I'm sorry kay, forgive me... >< Went to Mac w tou & went home w Simon& friends. They were like running for th last train & th rest of us followed. Just as we know.. there's 11 mins more & they were like laughing their ass off at us. Okay, I know I'm stupid kay. Simon teased me again on train. Just a lil' bit of teasing (: Then was getting really sleepy, & came across this Article in Reader's Digest. This woman driving a red Honda Civic went to a high way exit, driving a opposite direction at a extremely fast speed. & just when the Family in Ford realised, they swifted to their right side. However, the blue van behind them weren't that fortunate. They came crashing in to the Honda & flipped a few round before landing on the ground. The engine was on fire. The dad from Ford ran forward trying to rescue them. & after resueing 4 suvivors, he went back to the van to make check if there's anyone else there. He didn't hear any cries, neither did he see anyone. Hnce, left. Sad to say, there's still a 46 years old lady, the mum of the 4 suvivors. She'd died. The poor child was all so miserable. The lady in the red Honda passed away too. No one knew the reason. No one knew why.. They found scripts, lyrics of a rock music. "you were just too busy with yourself. You never had time to listen what I wanted to express." This might be the cause of the tragic. Alighted at Admiralty as the train ends at Kranji. Went Posb w sayang, He held my back directing me to walk. It felt nice.. Then, I was hungry, stomache growling for food. Saw the mac, Sayang stopped me, not allowing me to eat that. Then he said he wanted to go 7-11 to buy drink & hinted us to follow The silly 3 of us followed him. Then I said I wanna drink Orange juice he was acting like my dad stopping me from drinking, took the cooling water or something for me.. Never mind, after that I wanted to eat Mac so I told him, we shall head back to mac. He stopped me again, he forced me to buy sandwich. Okay bought the food reluctantly.. Went out. & upon looking at me coughing. He forced me to drink that bottle of water, in one shot. I was so full after that bottle. Started on the sandwiches. Ate the first one. & was really feeling bloated, hand the 2nd one to sayang.. He was muching and all of th sudden he stopped and offered me a bite of it. I declined it & he forced me again.. ): I gave an excuse of not sharing cause of my sore throat. He just peel a small piece and feed it into my mouth. That silly boy.. It was sweet. I missed him. Well, I guess maybe he does this to every single one of his friend? (: couldn't careless. I just need sleep. Good night guys & thanks for everything sayang. x3 Wednesday, March 5, 2008SicklyFuck this throat infection. It's like eating up my throat, gave me stupid headaches & furthermore the weather nowadays ain't helping. Woke up in th middle of th night at 4.06am written on my mobile. I was shivering. It's effin' cold.. Trying to get myself to sleep so that I could have enough sleep for th upcoming papers. Suck. Tremble and rolled on my bed trying to fall asleep, fnally gotten asleep around 15mins later. Woke up at 6 plus shivering still, didn't really wanted to swallow saliva, it was hurting. Didn't wanted to miss two paper hence gotten myself ready and went to school. The day was gloomy. Dark & cold.. The floor wass like piece of ice piercing into my body. reached school didn't had enough time to complete my revision.. Took the first paper. Didn't really studied for the 1st question so just anyhow scribble down some points hoping that marks would be awarded. Then wrote a full page of essay for the second question. Hope I'll pass (: After th paper, I wasssssss feelingg so damn cold. Went to call mummy to pick me up. Rah, went back home and sleep. slept till near 2 went to see th doctor. Yea, throat infection suck __ Okay, played piano. Wow, it's like damn dusty haven't been touching it for months. Felt so much more better now. Thanks for the concerns guys ;D & Pete, give me time alright? Everything's too soon... Sighers.Sayang, aku rindu kau. Things had changed, I;d lost enough. I don't wanna lose anymore, I'm sorry that I got too emotional. I was just depressed. Sickly, pale girl. I'm suffering from the diseases of fever. Argh, get away. Stressed from work, studies. Tests tomorrow. Wish me luck, or maybe, pray for the better. Aye, the sickness is getting me nowhere. I need sleep. Nic, I'm sorry alright. Don't be so petty lah. I just hate to see quarrels.. ): Forgive me alright? =/ Woo, thanks Keith for listening to my whinings almost everyday, remember our movie date alright? ;D Things are fine, friends kept coming. W/o you guys, I won't be who I am now (: Tryin' hard to cope with studies.. & family too. Sayang called. I missed him. It was like, my heart skipped abit when I saw his name on th small lil screen of my mobile. I rubbed my eyes cause was kinda shocked to receive his call eh. Chatted for a moment, glad to know that he's fine. (: No matter what you do, I'll do my best to help & support. I missed him teasing me, thou he still does.. Really hope to see him on friday, I missed you sayang. Aye, I love listening to your laughter, it's always so cute ;D Rest well, x33 I'm sorry once again, t lose my cool previously. Love you guys. & it's because it reminded me too much of my pasts, it isn't that incident. It's just the memories.. Sorry. Good night x3 Tuesday, March 4, 2008Flunk-edSigh, flunk flunk flunkkk ): I'd love to be loved. (: Who doesn't? However, for now there's only him.. Just him. To say the truth, I don't like kids. Trying to woo me wise, or.. Just kids. I don't like them. Well, I'm so gonna flunk mathes (: I seriously don't know why I can actually take 30mins to complete the whole paper when others are struggling. Well, 'COMPLETE' the whole paper. I doubt I cant even get a quarter of the total score. Stressed. Tired. Have you ever stayed in your car, and just your car for 9 months? Without bathing, with your luggages at the back seat, for 9 months.. She did, she wasn't able to find a job as she don't have an address. Finally, someone helped her. (: http://www.wanderingscribe.blogspot.com True story. She's that kinda people who need help & care. Hmm, was heard that when he told his friends about what happened during the chalet, he was really sad. Is he really affected? Sigh, haven't see or hear from him for days. I missed him. Things wasn't that great. Aren't coping with my studies well.. Mum, still the same. & because of her. My throat hurts like fuck now. But anyway, I still love her :D Guys, the zak.. I'm so sick. It's like can't you just say properly? Nevermind. Hope everything goes on smoothly (: Tired lil girl. Sick. I miss him aku rindu sayang.. sayang, talk to me alright? x33 |
HAN;
0409 Moving on. Dependent Hostile <3
SMU; Pink Havainas White Num Bag Gucci wallet Fragrance Princess by Vera Wang Flower by Kenzo Gucci -- The Hulk It's a Boy Girl thing Money return This week's timetable Slack 19/08/08; Tuesday School; Horntail School; Extra Lessons! 21/08/08; Thursday School; Gym 22/08/08; Friday School; Bunk 23/08/08; Saturday - 24/08/08; Sunday - Leave me somethin' affiliates
Bengified; versionLex Mard Ting Jas Hooda Shawn Harris Ysabel Thaqif Cassy Shadow Diana Yong kian Michelle :D Senki Jolene blabla blabla Layout & Graphics: Hilary You used to tell me; My Not So Secret Lives endinghere Give it t youuuu ;Dhere Closed;here It'll never be happy.here It's no longer a happy birthday..here ahahahahahahaha;Just reached home <3Started talkin...here Somehow, just dont feel like sleeping; 1;40am.Just...here " Somehow, it sucks to see you leading on fine. "y...here STUDDDYYY!here ;TiredNow playing -- Kidnap my heartStudy Study St...here Archives February 2008 memoirs March 2008 memoirs April 2008 memoirs May 2008 memoirs June 2008 memoirs July 2008 memoirs August 2008 memoirs September 2008 memoirs March 2009 memoirs Music! |
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